


here I stay

by catspajama_llamas



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Confusion, Hatred, M/M, NOT OT3, Unresolved Issues, i still love you despite it all, suppressed emotions, unrequieted love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 11:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4302639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catspajama_llamas/pseuds/catspajama_llamas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tell me,</p><p>What else does one do</p><p>in such a case</p>
            </blockquote>





	here I stay

When I look back on our time together,

I can't truly say that I felt happy

 

You, the light that I never stopped 

searching for,

all-encompassing,

all I ever strove for.

 

...

 

I never told you this, 

but I've always hated you.

 

The way you so capriciously spread your wings,

when mine were clipped and frayed beyond repair.

Always with my hand extended, 

hoping you would notice

 

but did you, did you ever..

 

....

 

I could never say it,

but I would curse your every stare,

you every shadow,

in the same way that I would feel grace

had befallen me, 

when I felt the tips of your fingers 

when I felt the world could only hold 

you and I.

 

How utterly foolish a notion,

me, no better than a street dog,

and you, the pedigree

 

Maybe if things had been different..

But then, I argue, 

then I never would have known you.

 

When I think about it,

All I ever thought about was you,

While you did the same.

 

It tore me apart, did you know? 

No, but of course not, 

because stars are always too blinded by their own light

to notice any others around them.

 

And then it happened.

 

You met another, 

even lesser than I 

yet somehow

somehow

 

he was the one to catch your full attention.

 

How so,

he who did not even deserve to breathe a very syllable of your name,

he,

a fucking worthless mutt,

 

tell me

 

why was it a lousy, disgusting bastard

who led to your ruin

 

you fucking sick pig.

 

///

 

I hate you, you know.

 

You, whose every breath I would latch on to,

You, who showed me what this world could hold,

You, who welcomed me with open arms 

as you led me into your universe.

 

Who am I, but a servant?

Who am I, who was never meant to breathe the same air as you?

Who am I, but an Icarus

When you were my everything.

 

I would destroy you, 

if only I loved you more.

**Author's Note:**

> *tosses another penny into the massively, penny-filled fountain* 
> 
> ORIGINAL
> 
> I'm so sorry for yet another unrequited tsukikana fic, the world really needed another one, right
> 
> This has probably been done about a billion times before, but I just had to write it. I was really inspired by chapter 35, and I really love the glimpses we've seen of the type of relationship shuu and kanae share, and their dynamics. I can't wait to see more backstory and progression of their relationship. Also little baby kanae bROKE MY HEART OMG and just. Wow. Ch 35 just was like gET FCUKING REKT I am so broken now omg
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
